I partied with Fleetwood Mac, delivered pizza to Joe Montana, kidded around with Robin Williams. I have three-star generals on speed dial. I raced cars at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. I was in the witness-protection program, more or less.
I’ve enjoyed the company of more beautiful, intoxicating women than I can count. One thing I can count: I’ve been around the world twenty-eight times.
I live at crazy speed, but I’m still here. And with all those accomplishments, there are … things. Other things. Of course there are. How could there not?
I lost so many friends. Though death, I get—unavoidable. But the ones who turned their backs? Or altered the story? Or hopped off the gravy train because they felt they were owed more gravy? Or got all holier-than-thou? One of my friends banned me from all his restaurants, including some favorite Boulder hangouts. To be fair, that rejection I deserved.
The love of my life and I have not been together for decades.
The woman I was most serious with, post-Elizabeth, once joined a lawsuit against me.
Maybe the success of Crocs and the prestige and notoriety and especially the crazy money had something to do with my nearly destroying myself. I can’t help but think of the roulette wheel of life: I wanted a good boat shoe—simply that—so I walked into a Tommy Bahama store in Miami and asked if they had what I wanted. They did not. Thanks, Tommy. If the answer had been yes, I might never have created Crocs. You would be reading something else right now.
It was the year I became the milk thief.
Back when milk was delivered to your door, I stole from the porches and side entrances of customers on my paper route who were away on vacation.
I realize that’s more than breaking rules—and in fact, it’s breaking the law. Hear me out, though. I couldn’t afford it myself. I was hungry. The milk would have gone bad.
Some of it I drank. The entrepreneur in me got the bright idea to simply give some of my stash to Scott, one of my older brothers, in exchange for him not beating me up. I used the bottle caps to get a discount at the movies. I returned the empties to the owners’ porches so they could get the nickel for the return. It’s not as if I didn’t understand fairness.
They had no idea that I was the one stealing their milk. They knew me only as an enterprising, disciplined paperboy.
I didn’t just break rules. I made up my own. When we were in San Francisco, the 49ers football team was king. They won several Super Bowls in the years I was there, and there were many stars—first and foremost, Joe Montana, the quarterback; but also Ronnie Lott, the future Hall of Fame cornerback; Steve Young, the future star quarterback; Roger Craig, the great running back; and Dwight Clark, the wide receiver who made “The Catch.” I knew where they all lived—that sounds creepy, but everyone in the Bay Area pretty much knew where their football heroes lived—and they weren’t far from one of my stores. I’d delivered pizzas to some of their homes before, so my next idea wasn’t all that far-fetched: whenever the 49ers played out of town, that Sunday I would deliver pizzas to a couple of players’ homes, where their wives and children and friends were almost certainly gathered to watch the game on TV. No one had ordered the pizza. I showed up right before game time with several pies.
“I’m sorry, we didn’t order this.”
“Well, someone did, and it’s all paid for, tip included. Here you go.”
And of course they took it, because who turns down hot pizza and cold drinks that show up right before kickoff on Sunday? For free?
At Domino’s, from the early Eighties to the late Nineties, we outworked everyone, and we out-enjoyed them, too, Joel and me. It wasn’t a competition exactly. It was How much life could you suck out of life? Okay, maybe it was a competition, because I wasn’t going to let anyone beat me at having a good time. I wanted anyone else’s best moment of the year to be a Tuesday afternoon for me.
We had the coolest clientele. We had a regular contingent of gay customers who thought Joel was cute and hoped they could persuade him out of being straight. Occasionally they had it in for me too. For some of the men, their type was almost anyone. Joel and I might be out in the Domino’s car on delivery—two guys in their twenties in Domino’s uniforms—and guys would yell at us from their cars, nice cars. And when I started making serious money and drove around in my red convertible, I got even more of that. Not a lot of restraint then.
Everyone was doing drugs in the late Eighties, or at least it seemed that way. Powder cocaine if you were rich, smokable crack if you were poor. San Francisco was a snowstorm. Probably most of America, too.
Scotty knew chemistry, but I knew fashion. And I knew something was going on here. It was sometime between midnight and 3 am in the Caribbean, and I was the only person awake on the boat.
Still, I knew this was heading in the right direction. I drilled some holes in the top to let the foot breathe (more on that later). There was no mirror nearby but I’m pretty sure a light bulb was floating above my head.
A shoe. A boat shoe, actually. A very weird-looking shoe, one that looked different from every other kind of shoe, but one I was sure boat lovers would wear if we could figure out a way to make it. When we got to shore, Scotty and I found a plastic clog in a hardware store and started drilling it, seeing if it would support holes and not scuff surfaces.
Nope. It did not do what we needed.
I did not realize that pursuing this idea would explode in our faces over and over and over—literally.
by George Boedecker Jr., Harper's | Read more:
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