I recently came across a 15-year-old pupil of mine absolutely beside herself with grief. After a certain amount of cajoling, she eventually wailed that some boys in her class had called her “brainy”, before bursting into a fresh flood of hysteria.
Fumbling for the Kleenex, and wondering - not for the first time - what the hell had happened with feminism and this generation of teenagers, I attempted to mop up her tears and explain that being described as “brainy” was a Good Thing and something she should be pleased about, even if the idiotic boys were too stupid to recognise that. “I love being called brainy,” I said, soothingly.
These words had the desired effect, or so I thought. She instantly stopped crying and looked at me in astonishment. “But that’s nasty, Miss,” she cried.
It was now my turn to look puzzled. She sighed. “Miss, being brainy means you give head to a lot of people. Giving brain means giving head.”
This conversation crystallised something that had been nagging at me for quite some time.
Language is a powerful signifier for all humans, but perhaps more for teenagers than most. For them, language is not just a tool of communication, but a means of establishing class, race, religion, which part of town they’re from, the music they listen to, the groups to which they are affiliated and myriad other things that adults forgot when they hit 20. This has always been the case, but what is new among the teenagers I work with is the casual appropriation of what were once compliments as insults - invariably targeted at females. If a girl “gives character”, she needs slapping down. If she’s “lively”, she’s slutty.
Teenagers are not particularly thoughtful about their words or actions, so when you spot a trend, worrying or otherwise, the only way to understand it is to ask them why they’re doing it. It is actually surprising how much this question surprises them - but it gets them talking.
“Sex is a way to get girls to do more stuff weirdly. If they do something and you threaten to tell everyone, they do more stuff.”
“I hated giving blow jobs, but didn’t want to look weird. And he said I was a freak if I didn’t. He was my best mate, but sex turned him into someone else.”
If this was a purely linguistic trend we could all sigh with relief, put the kettle on and hope it goes away. But it’s not just a linguistic one. It is manifesting in the thoughts, actions, character and behaviour of teenagers everywhere, and if you think it’s just the bad ones, the naughty ones, the poor ones, the sink estate ones, you are being very naive indeed.
This is, thanks to the internet, the first generation with free, easy and mass exposure to hardcore pornography. These are the first teenagers to have grown up with “sexting”, sex tapes, making their own sex tapes on phones, saucy snaps of classmates on Facebook, MSN orgies and extensive insight into the sex lives of celebrities and politicians - hell, even teachers.
It is impossible to discuss the long-term effect this will have on a generation of teenagers because we’re not there yet, but I can tell you about the short-term effects. I’ve been observing them closely for a couple of years. And some of what I’ve witnessed would be shocking to less seasoned adults.
by Chloe Combi, TES Connect | Read more:
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Fumbling for the Kleenex, and wondering - not for the first time - what the hell had happened with feminism and this generation of teenagers, I attempted to mop up her tears and explain that being described as “brainy” was a Good Thing and something she should be pleased about, even if the idiotic boys were too stupid to recognise that. “I love being called brainy,” I said, soothingly.
These words had the desired effect, or so I thought. She instantly stopped crying and looked at me in astonishment. “But that’s nasty, Miss,” she cried.It was now my turn to look puzzled. She sighed. “Miss, being brainy means you give head to a lot of people. Giving brain means giving head.”
This conversation crystallised something that had been nagging at me for quite some time.
Language is a powerful signifier for all humans, but perhaps more for teenagers than most. For them, language is not just a tool of communication, but a means of establishing class, race, religion, which part of town they’re from, the music they listen to, the groups to which they are affiliated and myriad other things that adults forgot when they hit 20. This has always been the case, but what is new among the teenagers I work with is the casual appropriation of what were once compliments as insults - invariably targeted at females. If a girl “gives character”, she needs slapping down. If she’s “lively”, she’s slutty.
Teenagers are not particularly thoughtful about their words or actions, so when you spot a trend, worrying or otherwise, the only way to understand it is to ask them why they’re doing it. It is actually surprising how much this question surprises them - but it gets them talking.
“Sex is a way to get girls to do more stuff weirdly. If they do something and you threaten to tell everyone, they do more stuff.”
“I hated giving blow jobs, but didn’t want to look weird. And he said I was a freak if I didn’t. He was my best mate, but sex turned him into someone else.”
If this was a purely linguistic trend we could all sigh with relief, put the kettle on and hope it goes away. But it’s not just a linguistic one. It is manifesting in the thoughts, actions, character and behaviour of teenagers everywhere, and if you think it’s just the bad ones, the naughty ones, the poor ones, the sink estate ones, you are being very naive indeed.
This is, thanks to the internet, the first generation with free, easy and mass exposure to hardcore pornography. These are the first teenagers to have grown up with “sexting”, sex tapes, making their own sex tapes on phones, saucy snaps of classmates on Facebook, MSN orgies and extensive insight into the sex lives of celebrities and politicians - hell, even teachers.
It is impossible to discuss the long-term effect this will have on a generation of teenagers because we’re not there yet, but I can tell you about the short-term effects. I’ve been observing them closely for a couple of years. And some of what I’ve witnessed would be shocking to less seasoned adults.
by Chloe Combi, TES Connect | Read more:
Image via:
