The Tin Woodman, raising his ax, ran toward the little man and cried, “Who are you?” The little man trembled, “I am Oz, the Great and Terrible!” Our friends looked at each other in surprise and dismay. “I thought Oz was a Great Wizard,” said Dorothy.
“I did, too,” said the Scarecrow.
“How did you do it?” asked the Lion.
“How are you Oz, the Great and Terrible?” asked the Tin Woodman.
“Two words,” said the little man. “Personal branding.”
Dorothy glanced at the Tin Woodman in confusion. At last she addressed the man quietly. “Are you not a Great Wizard, then?”
The little man laughed. “Why, I’m the Great Wizard.”
He added, “Good branding makes your target market see you as the only choice, not just the best choice. I’ve spent years researching and developing my distinctive yet authentic ‘Wizard’ brand.”
There was a long pause. “I think you are a very bad man,” said Dorothy, finally. “Well, I’m trending, so it really doesn’t matter what you think,” said Oz.
The Scarecrow wiped a tear from his eyes. “But how shall I ever get my brains?”
“Your brains are the least of your problems,” said Oz, “for your personal brand is as fresh as the hay in your coat sleeves! You need a major overhaul—I can’t tell if you’re going for faux-hipster ironic Brooklynite or ‘young conservative’ urban farmer-chic.”
The Scarecrow tugged self-consciously at his coat sleeves.
“Forget about the brains and focus on the wardrobe, the style, the message. Personally, I see you in a dirty wife-beater and Ray-Bans— playfully self-aware about your country roots, but with a sense of cool detachment.”
“Wife-beater, Ray-Bans,” repeated the Scarecrow to himself. He felt an oddly intuitive understanding, for not having a brain put him at a great advantage in the world of branding.
by Ethan Kuperberg, New Yorker | Read more:
Image: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Getty
