Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Biologists Announce They’re All Done With Rodents

Saying they had exhausted every possible line of scientific inquiry into the various species, the nation’s researchers announced Thursday that they were completely done with rodents. “We’ve spent many decades and billions of dollars observing, testing, and recording every conceivable cognitive and behavioral aspect of hamsters, mice, rats, and basically the entire order Rodentia, so at this point we’re pretty much all set rodent-wise,” said University of California biologist Emma Meuer, explaining that there was only so much that could be learned about the dietary preferences, spatial abilities, and decision-making skills of these small mammals before scientists started shrugging their shoulders and running out of new studies to subject them to.

by The Onion |  Read more:
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