Congrats to the Top 1% who have waited so long, tirelessly and unendurably funneling millions of dollars into Republican Super PACs, to make this day a reality. Your struggle has not been in vain, my friends. You have achieved your dreams through hard work, lobbyists, Super PACs, donations, threats, and lining Republican pockets.
Kudos as well to all my friends, who have really been corporations this whole time. You knew that the money you saved in untaxable off-shore accounts was not enough. You knew there was more you could have. You knew you deserved to pay less than regular people while still not paying a livable wage to many of your employees. Walmart, we salute you. Amazon, you beautiful bastard, you did it!
But most of all, congrats to those fearless #MAGA lovers. You showed up to rallies, you purchased overly expensive red caps, you cried and cheered and hated immigrants, all for achieving your ultimate goal — tax cuts for rich people.
The road has not been easy. You have met struggle, you have faced hardship, but you persevered. Through moral reasoning, ignoring blatant sexual assault, mocking handicapped people, and destroying libtards, your friends no longer need to worry about having their private jet usage taxed. You did that and you should be damned proud. You knew the 1% needed 83% of the tax cuts and you weren’t afraid to get it done.
Kudos as well to all my friends, who have really been corporations this whole time. You knew that the money you saved in untaxable off-shore accounts was not enough. You knew there was more you could have. You knew you deserved to pay less than regular people while still not paying a livable wage to many of your employees. Walmart, we salute you. Amazon, you beautiful bastard, you did it!But most of all, congrats to those fearless #MAGA lovers. You showed up to rallies, you purchased overly expensive red caps, you cried and cheered and hated immigrants, all for achieving your ultimate goal — tax cuts for rich people.
The road has not been easy. You have met struggle, you have faced hardship, but you persevered. Through moral reasoning, ignoring blatant sexual assault, mocking handicapped people, and destroying libtards, your friends no longer need to worry about having their private jet usage taxed. You did that and you should be damned proud. You knew the 1% needed 83% of the tax cuts and you weren’t afraid to get it done.
by Dayna McTavish, McSweeny's | Read more:
Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock
[ed. See also: The Republicans’ “Win” on Taxes Is a Loss for American Democracy and Power Lies]
