Back in pre-pandemic times, Richard and Denise Victor would get to see their four grandchildren almost every day. One set of kids lives around the block from them in Bloomfield Hills, Mich.; the others are half an hour away, all close enough for frequent visits and sleepovers.
"With the younger ones, we have a routine of stories when they spend the night," Richard Victor says.
But when the coronavirus hit, the couple were at their vacation home in Florida, and suddenly it wasn't safe to leave. They've been sheltering there for three months, missing their grandkids and struggling with an absence that FaceTime just can't fill.
"It's very, very difficult," says Victor, a 70-year-old lawyer and founder of the nonprofit Grandparents Rights Organization. "You have to try your best, because we don't know when this will be over with."
Of all the hardships imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, among the most poignant is the reshaping of relationships between children and the grandparents who love them.
Across the U.S., where more than 70 million people are grandparents, the effort to prevent infection in older people, who are most at risk of serious COVID-19 illness, has meant self-imposed exile for many. On the other hand, some grandparents have taken over daily child care duties to help adult children who must work.
"All the grandparents in the country are aching," says Madonna Harrington Meyer, a sociology professor at Syracuse University in New York. "Some are aching because they can't see their grandchildren — and some are aching because they can't get away from them."
Both situations are the result of a fast-moving pandemic that forced families to decide quickly whether to isolate with grandparents "inside the bubble or out," Harrington Meyer says. Three months later, many are still grappling with those decisions — and worrying about an uncertain future.
"I think we all have the exact same set of issues," says Harrington Meyer, author of the 2014 book Grandmothers at Work: Juggling Families and Jobs. "What will August bring? All of us need to be prepared for this to be fluctuating."
Even as some regions begin easing restrictions, the risks posed by gathering in person haven't changed for grandparents separated from their grandchildren, says Dr. Krutika Kuppalli, an affiliated clinical assistant professor of medicine in the infectious diseases division at Stanford University. Rates of serious illness and death caused by COVID-19 remain much higher in older people than among the young, and children can easily spread the disease.
"It's hard to know if a child has been exposed or whether they have an asymptomatic infection," Kuppalli says. "I would definitely recommend staying away or definitely continuing to wear masks and perform good hand hygiene."
At the same time, maintaining a connection with grandkids is important for the well-being of everyone, says Dr. Preeti Malani, chief health officer and professor of medicine at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
"There's an incredible health benefit to them to interact with their grandparents," she says. The bond is special.
"With the younger ones, we have a routine of stories when they spend the night," Richard Victor says.
But when the coronavirus hit, the couple were at their vacation home in Florida, and suddenly it wasn't safe to leave. They've been sheltering there for three months, missing their grandkids and struggling with an absence that FaceTime just can't fill.
"It's very, very difficult," says Victor, a 70-year-old lawyer and founder of the nonprofit Grandparents Rights Organization. "You have to try your best, because we don't know when this will be over with."Of all the hardships imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, among the most poignant is the reshaping of relationships between children and the grandparents who love them.
Across the U.S., where more than 70 million people are grandparents, the effort to prevent infection in older people, who are most at risk of serious COVID-19 illness, has meant self-imposed exile for many. On the other hand, some grandparents have taken over daily child care duties to help adult children who must work.
"All the grandparents in the country are aching," says Madonna Harrington Meyer, a sociology professor at Syracuse University in New York. "Some are aching because they can't see their grandchildren — and some are aching because they can't get away from them."
Both situations are the result of a fast-moving pandemic that forced families to decide quickly whether to isolate with grandparents "inside the bubble or out," Harrington Meyer says. Three months later, many are still grappling with those decisions — and worrying about an uncertain future.
"I think we all have the exact same set of issues," says Harrington Meyer, author of the 2014 book Grandmothers at Work: Juggling Families and Jobs. "What will August bring? All of us need to be prepared for this to be fluctuating."
Even as some regions begin easing restrictions, the risks posed by gathering in person haven't changed for grandparents separated from their grandchildren, says Dr. Krutika Kuppalli, an affiliated clinical assistant professor of medicine in the infectious diseases division at Stanford University. Rates of serious illness and death caused by COVID-19 remain much higher in older people than among the young, and children can easily spread the disease.
"It's hard to know if a child has been exposed or whether they have an asymptomatic infection," Kuppalli says. "I would definitely recommend staying away or definitely continuing to wear masks and perform good hand hygiene."
At the same time, maintaining a connection with grandkids is important for the well-being of everyone, says Dr. Preeti Malani, chief health officer and professor of medicine at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.
"There's an incredible health benefit to them to interact with their grandparents," she says. The bond is special.
by Jonel Accecia, NPR | Read more:
Image: Victor Family
