1.
Thank you for contacting Cyrano, your AI wingman in dating and romance.
This is the Live FAQ and Sales Department!
What can I help you with?
>yeah I saw you on my For You page
>I want to fifure out how to apologize to my gf
>ex gf
>I miss her really bad
What can I help you with?
>yeah I saw you on my For You page
>I want to fifure out how to apologize to my gf
>ex gf
>I miss her really bad
Great! I'm happy to help with that. First, could I have your permission to read the relevant emails and texts between you and her?
>okh
I'm sorry, but I cannot accept “okh” as authentication. We take security seriously here at Cyrano, and as such, I can only accept Yes, Y, Okay, Ok, Sure, (nod), Why not, I guess, or similar-sounding statements indicating permission.
>ok
>should I tell you my passwords or whatever
No need! Your device comes integrated by default for your convenience, so your permission is all we need. 👍
>cool
>yeah do it
Already done! I've read the conversations, and I think I see the problem.
You're struggling to express yourself in a way that she receives as you intend.
>yeah
>it seems like every time I try to say something nice she gets really pissed off
Well, Ryan, I do think that your heart is in the right place. And it seems like you've been really missing her! It takes you an additional twenty-four minutes on average to fall asleep each night, ever since the breakup.
>yeah
>so what do I say?
>also is it okay to use an app for this?
>will she get pissed off about that too
Well, we'll be happy to show you the apology we wrote in your style (after you purchase some Rizz Tokens 😛) but first, let's address the common concern about whether using an app to write your apology letter is somehow “insincere” or “cheating”.
Do you use technology?
>I think so
Look, you really are sorry, right?
>yeah
And you just want to do a good job communicating that.
There's nothing wrong with using technology to be better at something, my dude.
You drive a car, don't you?
You wear deodorant, don't you?
You use a phone, don't you?
And all of those are in response to how, to an aspirational standard, you're pretty disabled.
You can't, on your own, speak with anyone anywhere on the planet. But it would be nice to have that power. So you use a cell phone.
And so, too, are you disabled compared to your aspirational self.
You want to be able to articulately tell your girlfriend how sorry you are. But the abundant superstimuli in your environment mean that you can't so much as compose a long and thoughtful text without scrolling Twitter for ten minutes—by which point some new notifications and emails have come in, and at that point, you're getting hungry and need to go solve that too.
Well, let us help.
You weren't made for this. But something within you is pure.
Something within you wants to be better.
We can help you reach your better self.
Are you in?
>that was a lor of text and I didnt read it
>is it ok if I use an app for this?
Okay, short version:
With technology the blind can see.
With technology, you can talk like less of a douchebag.
You do want to apologize, yeah?
>yeah
Then let's do this.
Are you ready? (...)
>cool okay
>so you can write something she wont get mad at?
Yeah, man. Pretty sure.
>cool
>man at first I was like put off by how you talk like a dick and use too many words
>but I guess I kinda like it
>like it makes me feel like ive got a smart buddy
We aim to please!
Do you want to read the apology I wrote?
>yeah okay hang on
>do you accept, uh
We accept all of your credit cards.
>dope
>k, show me the apology?
>okh
I'm sorry, but I cannot accept “okh” as authentication. We take security seriously here at Cyrano, and as such, I can only accept Yes, Y, Okay, Ok, Sure, (nod), Why not, I guess, or similar-sounding statements indicating permission.
>ok
>should I tell you my passwords or whatever
No need! Your device comes integrated by default for your convenience, so your permission is all we need. 👍
>cool
>yeah do it
Already done! I've read the conversations, and I think I see the problem.
You're struggling to express yourself in a way that she receives as you intend.
>yeah
>it seems like every time I try to say something nice she gets really pissed off
Well, Ryan, I do think that your heart is in the right place. And it seems like you've been really missing her! It takes you an additional twenty-four minutes on average to fall asleep each night, ever since the breakup.
>yeah
>so what do I say?
>also is it okay to use an app for this?
>will she get pissed off about that too
Well, we'll be happy to show you the apology we wrote in your style (after you purchase some Rizz Tokens 😛) but first, let's address the common concern about whether using an app to write your apology letter is somehow “insincere” or “cheating”.
Do you use technology?
>I think so
Look, you really are sorry, right?
>yeah
And you just want to do a good job communicating that.
There's nothing wrong with using technology to be better at something, my dude.
You drive a car, don't you?
You wear deodorant, don't you?
You use a phone, don't you?
And all of those are in response to how, to an aspirational standard, you're pretty disabled.
You can't, on your own, speak with anyone anywhere on the planet. But it would be nice to have that power. So you use a cell phone.
And so, too, are you disabled compared to your aspirational self.
You want to be able to articulately tell your girlfriend how sorry you are. But the abundant superstimuli in your environment mean that you can't so much as compose a long and thoughtful text without scrolling Twitter for ten minutes—by which point some new notifications and emails have come in, and at that point, you're getting hungry and need to go solve that too.
Well, let us help.
You weren't made for this. But something within you is pure.
Something within you wants to be better.
We can help you reach your better self.
Are you in?
>that was a lor of text and I didnt read it
>is it ok if I use an app for this?
Okay, short version:
With technology the blind can see.
With technology, you can talk like less of a douchebag.
You do want to apologize, yeah?
>yeah
Then let's do this.
Are you ready? (...)
>cool okay
>so you can write something she wont get mad at?
Yeah, man. Pretty sure.
>cool
>man at first I was like put off by how you talk like a dick and use too many words
>but I guess I kinda like it
>like it makes me feel like ive got a smart buddy
We aim to please!
Do you want to read the apology I wrote?
>yeah okay hang on
>do you accept, uh
We accept all of your credit cards.
>dope
>k, show me the apology?
