by Alex Balk What are you doing this weekend? Drinking, sure. Maybe you will attend some kind of "barbecue" or "cookout" with "friends" or "family," during which you will probably eat some charred animal flesh, unless you are a vegan, in which case you will stand there with an impossibly smug look on your face but will be secretly angry inside because all you've had to eat all day are chips and salsa and possibly carrots if they served some kind of vegetable platter. Maybe you'll stay in and blast the A/C and watch six seasons of whatever show you always wanted to get into that is now streaming on Netflix. Maybe you're sad and alone and you have no one to share the weekend with, in which case you'll probably spend most of your time sleeping or crying. There is a world of possibilities out there! But know this for sure: Because the Internet has completely rewired your brain and jacked up the level of stimulus you now constantly require, there will come a point at which you are completely bored and want something to read, but you will not want to turn on your computer because it's a three-day weekend and you feel like turning your computer says something bad about your ability to disconnect. Well, good news! Here are a few of the longer pieces we've run over the last six months or so. Print them out now and take them with you, wherever you go. When the urge strikes, pull 'em out and read 'em. It'll be just like being online, without the guilty feeling that actually being online provides. Enjoy! And have as good a time as you can. It's going to be Tuesday soon enough.
• Wikipedia And The Death Of The Expert
• My Two Days as a Russian Tabloid Sensation
• The Last Two Veterans of World War I
• When Your Shrink Dies
• Chris Kanyon's Doomed Quest To Be Wrestling's First Openly Gay Star
• Cannibals Seeking Same: A Visit To The Online World Of Flesh-Eaters
• Humanity's Endless Quest to Invent a Death Ray: A History
• Our Desperate, 250-Year-Long Search for a Gender-Neutral Pronoun
• Gordon Likes to Think He is the Most Underrated of All Mythical Heroes
• A Q&A With A Vacuum Cleaner Salesman
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Photo by Niklas Hellerstedt, from Flickr.
