People, you're going at life all wrong. Do not try, try again. Try a few times and then go back to your room and mope. Set the bar low and then slink under it. The key to success is being positive ... that it will never happen to you.
Take, for instance Sergio Garcia, the Sulking Spaniard. He is a man who does not see a glass half full. He sees a glass that someone will soon pick up and crack over his skull.Take last year at the Masters, for instance. Garcia shot himself out of it with a Saturday 75 and then announced to the world he was done trying.
"I'm not good enough," he said that day. "I don't have the thing I need to have. In 13 years [as a pro], I've come to the conclusion that I need to play for second or third place. I have no more options. I wasted my options. ... Tell me something I can do."
And yet?
If you check your favorite sports website this morning, you'll see that this same Sergio Garcia, the Eeyore of golf, has a share of the lead at this 2013 Masters after a brilliant 6-under 66 Thursday.
It won't be easy playing for third place from first, but if anybody can do it, it's Garcia.
"This is obviously not my favorite place -- my most favorite place, that is," he said afterward. "We try to enjoy it as much as we can. Sometimes it comes out better than others. Today it was one of those good days. Let's enjoy it while it lasts."
Hey, Sergio, can you come speak at my Pessimists' Club meeting?
Look at him, would you? The man just shot 66 and he looks like he just shot 86. He has all the joy of a mortician whose hearse just ran over his own dog. His next smile is scheduled for Aug. 13.
I don't know where the happy, jumping-off-the-golf-cart, 19-year-old Sergio went, but what we're left with now is the waiting-for-a-Steinway-to-fall-on-his-head Sergio.
"That's the beautiful [thing] about being 19," he reminisced recently, at 33. "When you are 19 or 15 or 12, you don't think. You just go out there and you don't think and you let it fly and there isn't a worry in the world. ... And then, as the years go by and you've been hit with disappointments and they start to wear down on you, you start thinking too much. Back then, the world was right in front of me."
Wow. Anybody got a Xanax?
by Rick Reilly, ESPN | Read more:
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Get to Know the Essence of the Golf GuyEveryone loves the Masters Tournament.
Even non-golfers like the Masters. It’s a sign of spring and a good excuse to take a weekend afternoon nap.
Those of us who play golf like it even more. It means golf season is here and that it’s time to get the clubs out of the garage again. But there is a third category of person who watches the Masters. He is Golf Guy. Anyone who has played golf knows Golf Guy.
Golf Guy loves golf like nothing else. It is all he has. It is very sad.
Let’s get to know Golf Guy better.
Attire
Like any weirdo you might choose to dress up as for Halloween, getting the right costume for Golf Guy is of utmost importance.
To pull off the look of Golf Guy, you will want to start with a pair of pants that exists somewhere in the realm between khaki cargo pants and tan dress pants. Look for some tan, cotton-blend pants with a bit of a sheen to them. Think high-end Dockers.
Next, buy several dozen short-sleeve polo shirts. These will be the only shirts you own for the rest of your life. The more boring the better, but mixing in a few extremely ugly ones that don’t go with anything -- even tan pants somehow -- is fine, too. Wear them tucked in with a belt and seriously consider buttoning the shirt all the way up to the top button.
Now, look in the mirror. Do you look like a perfect mix between accountant on a casual Friday and 5-year-old boy dressed by his mother for school picture day? Do you look like Davis Love III? Would people look at you and think: “I bet that guy drives a Buick and loves Hootie and the Blowfish.” The answer to all three questions should be "yes" or you don’t have the look right.
Golf Guy always dresses as though he just stepped off the golf course, or could step on the golf course at any moment, or is on the golf course right now, as Golf Guy must always be ready for the possibility of some golf.
by DJ Gallo, ESPN | Read more:
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