Please select your reason for unsubscribing:❏ This is temporary. I’ll be back!
❏ It’s not you; it’s me.
❏ I never signed up for this level of commitment.
❏ I met someone else.
If you chose ANY OF THESE, please explain in as many words as possible:
____________________________________________
____________________________________________.
Would you like to continue to receive calls and texts?
❏ Yes. We are both going to need some time to get closure.
❏ Only on my birthday/other major holidays.
❏ Not from you.
❏ Who is this? New phone.
What about our plans to go to Cabo?
❏ I’m sure as hell not going.
❏ You can still go, if you want to.
❏ I was drunk when we talked about that.
Was quitting smoking not good enough?
❏ No.
❏ It was only a start.
❏ It was never about the smoking, Alan.
Did you block me on Facebook or is there something wrong with my account?
❏ I blocked you.
Can I continue to use your Netflix log-in?
❏ No, that privilege has been revoked.
❏ Wait, I never said you could use my log-in.
❏ Fuck it. All right.
Image: Tim Robberts, Getty
