This kind of promise seems to have resonated particularly in recent years, as the American population reconsiders its relationship to work. While the pandemic exposed how “essential work” and the people who perform it are critically undervalued, the vacuum where the long-fallen girlboss once stood is now occupied by “quiet quitting” and actual quitting, amounting to what others have called “The Great Resignation.” In the absence of viable solutions to this widespread discontent, online homesteaders like Hannah Neeleman, better known as the face of @ballerinafarm, have supplied the next best thing: seemingly attainable fantasy.
In a TikTok from last year, Neeleman forms and fries buttermilk sourdough donuts to a breezy Ella Fitzgerald tune, exhibiting in the process the various accouterments which comprise her signature style: copper utensils and unbleached parchment strewn over a wood-slat table; the kelly green AGA stove that her “
family treasures'' adorned with a spray of artfully wilted wildflowers; an audience of flaxen-haired children, perched on a stool, on the table, on her hip. To appreciate the true impact of this scene, one might look beyond the sheer quantity of Neeleman’s 9.8M TikTok and 10M Instagram followers, which indicates less than the kind of reaction represented by the top comment on this video: “I do not want a career. I want this life.”
From that phrasing arises the question: what exactly is “this life”? Ostensibly, a life of sourdough starter and adoring children and
twenty thousand dollar stoves that is crucially liberated from the treachery of professional striving. Though this translates, more broadly speaking, into a life contained within a little house on a prairie, removed entirely from professional existence or responsibility for anyone outside of the immediate family unit— in other words, tradlife. (...)
The Homestead Act also subjected pioneer women to exploitation, where their domestic labor, romanticized as a “labor of love,” was not recognized by any proprietary right but instead, rewards like “pleasure,” “pride,” and “purpose,” which transcended quantification. If second-wave feminism worked to expose this narrative, then contemporary homesteader wives have renewed its purchase by framing their domestic labor in neat squares and 280-character anecdotes: portrayed in videos like Neeleman’s and photographs like Elliott’s, cooking isn’t a “chore,” as Winger recently
retweeted, but “an amazing daily opportunity to tap into a sensory experience, to be creative, and to nourish yourself and loved ones.”
That style of rhetoric approaches defensiveness in
one of Neeleman’s more recent posts, a vague non-response to a
Times profile that disturbingly pulled back the curtain on Ballerina Farm. In the profile, Neeleman reflected that she “[gave] up a piece of [herself]” with her first pregnancy, which marked the end of her Juilliard career, and a gradual shift toward her farm-bound existence: one in which she abstains from birth control, delivered seven of her eight children without pain relief (she indulged in an epidural on the one occasion when her husband wasn’t present), and competed in a beauty pageant twelve days after birthing her youngest; put simply, an existence that requires week-long spells of bedrest to combat exhaustion-induced sickness. In the aftermath of the controversy that ensued—with comments urging, "
Girl, run”—Neeleman posted
a video to her account on July 29 in collaboration with her husband’s, @hogfathering. It shows the couple kissing, in cowboy boots, with their cattle field as background and newborn as prop. Through a disembodied voice over, Neeleman describes how they “snuck over” to their new dairy for date night, presumably built to supply the Ballerina Farm store with an expanded arsenal of artisanal goods. “When we started to farm, I was swept up in the beauty of learning to make food from scratch,” she continues. “It’s the world we created, and I couldn’t love it more.”
As an opportunity for tradlife to further its own anti-feminist cause, these idyllic depictions of domestic work are pitched to, as well as against, the disillusioned career woman. It is through this “gloomy figure of the working woman,” writes Zoe Hu in
Dissent, that tradwives conflate “their rejection of both capitalism and feminism.” By suggesting that a woman’s fulfillment might be found beyond the home, feminism has, to the tradwife, degraded homemaking as a form of drudgery, as well as those women who find fulfillment from being wives and mothers. There is no possibility of peaceful coexistence from this perspective, notes Rebecca Klatch in Women of the New Right, only a zero-sum game in which traditional values and the wives that uphold them have either defeated, or been defeated by, feminism. As such, the disillusioned career woman might provide affirmation to the homesteader wife while supplying crucial ammunition to the tradwife seeking her vindication; cast in stark relief against the burned-out career woman, the tradwife’s domestic existence is rendered not only as an alternative, but as the only solution to the abasement of capitalism. “It was such a transition going from working in finance to sahm [stay at home mom],” begins one comment on a TikTok video posted by @gwenthemilkmaid, whose content revolves around “homemaking,” “homesteading,” and “holistic health.” “I don’t wake up anxious anymore, I wake up grateful to make brekky for my family.”
Yet despite her comprehensive retreat, not only from the workplace but also market pressures in general, the tradwife ironically becomes the ultimate capitalist subject by insisting that her labor is priceless. This dynamic is further complicated by the current wave of homesteading wives, many of whom enjoy profitable careers through social media, ironically by selling the idea of unpaid labor. In a recent
post, Elliott mused that “if all of this went away, the phones, the computers, the videos, the microphones, the noise…our life would still be what it is”—“our life” meaning the curated version “of gardens, of sourdough, of lambs each spring.” But this post, which exists alongside others promoting the efficacy of geranium oil for a duck’s infected foot, lemongrass for pest control, and Roman chamomile for hives, belies the fact that Elliott became her family’s breadwinner within a year of being recruited by a fellow blogger to sell essential oils for the multilevel marketing company doTerra. With a similar sleight of hand, Neeleman has framed her Instagram profile in the following terms, as a candid record of one ordinary family’s journey: “With the ink still wet on the real estate contract for our new little farm, we drove to the nearest farm goods store…we had zero experience. Zero background in farming. Didn’t own a shovel or single animal ... .Already short on sleep, we did the only thing we knew how to do: tell our story and document the journey for all to see.”
While this version of events nicely lends itself to the sponsored #FedExSmallBusiness campaign to which it was attached, it patently glosses over the fact that Neeleman’s father-in-law is the founder and former CEO of JetBlue, as well as four other airlines. This inheritance is particularly relevant given the fact, as
Anne Helen Peterson has identified, that there is no possible way for the Neeleman’s 328-acre farm to cover the costs of its own operation, let alone break a profit. Listing the variety of goods available for purchase through the Ballerina Farm website (everything from vacuum sealed “mountain raised meat” and baggies of “high protein farm flour,” to gingham aprons and clogs photographed with a smattering of grass), Gaby Del Valle has observed in
The Baffler that Neeleman’s content functions as advertisement for these wares, as well as for her life—in other words, that homespun fantasy and the commercial reality are two sides of the tradwife’s coin.
Image: uncredited